The Sasu-Buhari Dialogue: Bridging the Generational Divide
In much of South Asia, the relationship between a mother-in-law (Sasu) and daughter-in-law (Buhari) is one of the most emotionally and socially charged dynamics in domestic life. The daughter-in-law enters as an outsider, expected to conform, defer, and prove her worth. The mother-in-law, herself shaped by years of navigating these same hierarchies, can exercise authority with wisdom — or with control. This dynamic is not merely personal; it is structural. It is a mechanism through which patriarchal norms are reproduced across generations, silently, within the intimacy of the home.WCSD's insight was to target this relationship not as a site of blame, but as a site of transformation. If the conversation between Sasus and Buharis could be opened, if mutual understanding could replace mutual suspicion, then the household itself could become a place where gender equality is practised rather than violated.
What Was Done
The Sasu-Buhari Dialogue Programme brought together over 60 participants across two community locations for facilitated experience-sharing sessions. Deliberately informal — a circle of women rather than a formal workshop — the sessions invited participants to share their own experiences of marriage, household duties, conflict, and unexpected kindness. Facilitators guided discussions toward themes of shared responsibility, the impact of domestic conflict on children, practical mechanisms for resolving disagreements without violence, and available support resources for women experiencing abuse.
Why It Matters
The results were striking. Facilitators reported visible shifts — from guardedness and defensiveness to openness and, in some cases, tearful recognition. Several pairs made specific commitments: to share household decision-making, to address conflicts verbally, to stop repeating patterns of treatment that they themselves had suffered. This intergenerational interruption is crucial. The Sasu-Buhari Dialogue does not simply address two women. It interrupts a chain of transmission — the passing of harmful norms from one generation to the next — that is otherwise almost invisible. By making that chain visible, the programme creates the possibility of change that no external mandate can produce but that communities can choose for themselves.
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